Jiraiya's New Book
by RomanticVoltaire
Summary: Jiraiya has a plan and Kakashi is in on it. But what do the two pervy nins want with Naruto and Sasuke? And what happens when Sasuke nearly dies on a mission? Read and find out! YAOI you have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**AAAAAAAAAND hello again my small yet immensely important ****fan club!!! I love you all, you've made me so happy with all your reviews and favourites, I never thought my stories would get this popular this quickly *happy tear drop*  
So, to thank you all for your dedication and to celebrate the end of my exams for the year, as well as, of course Sasu-chan's birthday (although I'm a month early really)…  
Here's a SasuNaru pairings for all you yaoi crazed biatches out there *big, broad grin***

**And guess what! Because I am in such an artistic mood I'm even making it a LONG one shot, with background story!!! Just imagine!!! It's not just mindless fucking!!!  
I hope you enjoy this little bit of smut. ;)**

**I do, however, deeply apologise with the whole mission bit in the middle… I don't think I tried as hard as I should've…**

…**And if Sasu-chan and Naru-chan are really OOC, I'm sorry… this is my first ever attempt at yaoi…**

**As ever, the upsetting disclaimer: Neither Naruto nor Sasuke belong to me yet… Still working on it though.  
I don't know if you'd want me to own them though, because all they'd be doing would be to shag each other senseless… *hehehe***

**But enough from me for now. Enjoy the fluff!!!**

* * *

**Enter ****Naruto**

* * *

It had been a long day.

Far too long a day.

Tired and exhausted, Naruto dragged himself back into his flat after a long, tiring ANBU mission. As he flopped onto his bed face first, not bothering to remove any of his armour, he sighed heavily.

"What a day…" he mumbled, trying desperately to tell himself that what he really needed right now was a hot bath.

As he slowly let his head roll over to one side, allowing himself to breathe again and look at his bedside table, he had to frown. Staring at his alarm clock he realised that it was a Thursday, but that wasn't what caused the frown to grace his features. What worried him was the fact that it was nearly seven in the afternoon and that, for some reason, said time rang a bell on this particular Thursday.

With another sigh, Naruto rolled over and brought himself into a slumped sitting position, trying to realise what it might have possibly been that he had forgotten. Running through a list from shopping all the way through to missions in his head, he slowly began to realise that it was nothing to do with himself, but with someone else.

As it finally dawned on him, he jumped off the bed in a frenzy, mumbling words we had better censor as he threw his ANBU gear on the floor and, already running out the door, threw on a pair of snugly fitting jeans and a trademark orange shirt.

* * *

When Naruto finally arrived at his destination, panting heavily, Jiraiya was already tapping his foot impatiently and in a foul mood.

"Here I go, training you hard and spilling my whole life into you, and yet you start taking more after Kakashi…" he started sulking before being shut up by a glare that couldn't mean anything but shut-up-I've-had-a-horrible-day-so-don't-fuck-with-me.

With a sigh, Jiraiya continued and, knowing no more words needed to be exchanged, started leading the way.

Hands thrust in pockets and looking more like a moody teen than anything else, Naruto followed, knowing fully well where Ero-Sennin was taking him.

Or so he believed.

As the two of them passed by the Ladies' section of the hot springs, Naruto couldn't help but wonder and voice his surprise.

With a chuckle, Jiraiya just continued leading Naruto around the hot springs until they were stood in front of a wooden wall Naruto was, surprisingly, unfamiliar with.

Again, the Sennin had to laugh at the man's confused look.

"Well, Naruto, you remember how I asked for your help today because I said I wanted to try something new, ne?"

"…Yes… and I also remember you bullying me into coming with you when I specifically said that I was over this petty phase you never seem to have grown out of…" Naruto answered, not sure he even wanted to know where this was going.

"Well my dear student, sometimes we just have to widen our horizons," Jiraiya explained with a wide grin. "And **I** have decided that I wanted to expand the audience for my books! You see… currently my books are mainly read by men, you with me? So… I figured, if I peek on women all the time, why not make them read my books too?"

Naruto could only stare.

"So you're saying that we're here to throw your ecchi books all over the hot springs in the hopes that women will pick them up?"

Now it was Jiraiya's turn to stare.

"No, Naruto… I am going to write a new book! But for that I need new inspiration, so I was hoping that you could help me!" he stated, pushing Naruto closer to a little hole he had previously drilled into the wall to aid the peeping process.

* * *

"Aah… Peace at last…" Sasuke moaned quietly to himself as he released the towel from around his waist and sank thankfully into the soothing heat of the hot springs.

What a blessing these hot waters could be!

Perfect after a stressful day such as the one he had just completed, absolute heaven for tired, tense muscles and, more importantly, bliss for a tired mind.

Admittedly, he had to shut off his senses to reach the stage of pure bliss; it is hard to find peace in a world were even your own sex feels attracted to your looks, and Sasuke knew fully well that this was the reason he was attracting so many looks by his fellow bathers.

But, of course, everyone knew better than to actually try anything on him, so he didn't have to worry about that at least.

As he waded through the hip height water, he shivered contently at the contrast between the cool breeze on his back and the hot water on his abdomen, until he reached the stone benches carved in under the water. Closing his eyes in pleasure, he sank down onto the bench, allowing the water the reach just above his shoulders, and rested his head on the bank behind him.

Although he didn't quite go to sleep, he most definitely drifted into a content doze.

* * *

A few moments of mindless gawking later, Naruto found himself jumping backwards in disgust and being stopped from screaming out loud by a large, calloused hand being clamped hard over his mouth. As he struggled to get free, Jiraiya dragged him a safe distance away from the bathhouse before releasing him…

…Which ended in a torrent of screams and insults.

"**You disgusting evil perverted Hentai freak!!! You… you… pervert!!! How dare you show me such vile images!!! What do you think I am… gay!?"**

A few seconds of fuming later, Naruto realised that rather than a reply, he was only receiving snickers from the old man.

"…And what exactly do you think is so funny!?!"

"You…" Jiraiya began before being interrupted by another one of his own hearty chuckles. "You were blushing the entire time… Your eyes were basically glued to that hole…!"

"…W…WAS NOT!!!" Naruto exploded, now blushing furiously.

Jiraiya was not to be stopped anymore as his chuckles exploded into full blown laughter.

"You're such a bad liar!!!" he laughed before being silenced by a couple of punches beautifully aimed straight at his face.

"And don't **ever** again ask for my help with your stupid books ever again!!! Ecchi bastard!!!"

With that, Naruto stampeded off, back towards his home, leaving a very amused and, more importantly, very happy Sennin behind.

* * *

"Right, that's it for today then… Don't forget to rest for the weekend, we've got a very hard week behind us and the next one doesn't look very relaxing either," Kakashi dismissed his pack of misfits, followed shortly by Naruto whining about how he really wanted some ramen but Iruka not being free, Sakura, still not getting the hint after all these years, trying desperately to flirt with Sasuke and said man turning back towards the Uchiha compound with his trademark "Hn" before commenting on the fact that Uchiha's needed no rest.

"Well, if you're still so fit Sasuke, then stay behind for a moment please," Kakashi replied, his nose already sunken deeply in his copy of Icha Icha Rakuen.

Again, he was greeted with a "Hn" followed by Sasuke approaching him, a very sulky Sakura leaving the two and a very enthusiastic Naruto asking Sakura if she didn't want to join him for some ramen.

When the two of them were a safe distance away and Naruto had given up on Sakura, Kakashi and Sasuke were left watching the blond walk away, hands interlocked behind head, doing his classy carefree strut.

"What do you want," Sasuke asked, making sure that Kakashi was well aware of how much of a bother he thought the copy-nin was.

"Well… I just figured we haven't had a nice old senior/junior chat in a while, bear with this sentimental old fool," Kakashi replied, allowing his eyes to peer over the edge of his book.

"Then be out with it and let me go, I have matters to attend to."

"I was wondering what you thought about Naruto's growth over these past few years," the copy-nin continued, completely unfazed by the Uchiha's snide remarks.

Of course, such a question only earned him a pair of rolled eyes in return.

"He's become stronger, yes. Very much so. He's become a good fighter and a worthy Shinobi of Konoha. Is that what you are wishing to hear?" he asked, obviously not happy with the chosen topic of conversation.

"Ah, but that is not what I am referring to at all my dear Sasuke. Haven't you noticed the physical changes in particular? Why, I believe he has grown into an incredibly handsome young man. Oh, if Iruka and I were just still as young as you two still are…"

He was quickly interrupted by a very angry pair of blazing Sharingan.

"**If** you don't **mind** my dear **sensei** I am in no way inclined to be holding this conversation with you right now. I am however **most** certain that Iruka-san will be most **delighted** to discuss this with you when you're **not** busy keeping half Konoha awake at night!" the owner of the dangerous eyes growled before turning around and leaving.

Although he had hoped for a somewhat better result, Kakashi couldn't help but grin under his mask.

"Oh, I think we won't be the only ones at it for very much longer…" he chuckled quietly to himself.

* * *

_As the dark man slipped into the water, perfect body glistening with moisture, every man in the hot spring turned to look at him, hunger clear in their eyes. Grinning coyly at them all, he just kept wading through the water, ignoring them all. Every man who tried to reach for him quickly recoiled as though they had been stung by a force field surrounding him. Suddenly, right in the middle of the water, he looked up and stared straight at the observer. The coy grin turned to a sexy smirk and the cold eyes quickly became glazed with lust as he came closer and closer until their noses were almost touching. Just as he took that final leap, plunging in for the kiss…_

Groaning and panting, Naruto sat up in bed, drenched in sweat. As he stared around his room, he closed his eyes and fell back onto his pillows, moaning in despair.

"Fuck…" he mumbled, rubbing his temples perhaps just a bit too hard as he realised the tent he was making under his covers.

It was all Jiraiya's fault. That Ero-Sennin could seriously go to hell. Who did he think he was? Subjecting Naruto to such a sight?

And why did he have to see Sasuke? And why did he have to look so damn drop-dead gorgeous?

Not that Naruto found him attractive or anything…

With a sigh, Naruto got up for his second cold shower that night alone. As he stepped under the cold water, forcing himself to think of anything **but** Sasuke's body, he found himself thinking of the dreams he's been having instead.

He couldn't understand it himself, he had always liked and pursued Sakura – he was perfectly straight! But now, after having seen Sasuke naked just once and completely by chance, he was finding himself incapable of having a night without these frighteningly arousing dreams invading his sleep, finding it impossible to stop thinking of his best friend and rival in rather… Sexual ways.

"Fuck…" Naruto groaned again, smacking his fist against the wall of his shower as he let the ice cold water was over him.

When he finally considered himself calm enough to go back to sleep, he stepped out of the shower, dried himself off and clambered back into bed before realising that the weekend was already over.

A full week on a mission with Sasuke was lying ahead of him.

"Oh fuck!" Naruto groaned yet again before letting his head drop on his pillow and forcing himself to sleep.

* * *

It was day three of the mission, and tension was growing.

The team of four was tracking a S-class criminal who had found out about their mission and destroyed the village they had been sent to protect before they had even set out, so now they only had element B left – search and destroy.

Although Pakkun was having no trouble at all leading them to the villain, he was clearly prepared for them wherever he went, whatever direction they tried to come at him from. There was always a trap waiting for them.

He was proving to be a tough nut to crack.

As they travelled further and further, following his every step, they soon reached the outermost limits of the region they were permitted to act in.

They had already travelled most of the fire country and found their way through the wind country in a rugged beeline, but now the target was making for even the many smaller countries beyond Gaara's territory, so really the team of four seemed to have no choice but to abort the mission.

For everyone's surprise however, Sakura objected with this proposal.

"Think about it! He is probably hoping for this exactly – that we will have to abort because he leaves our territories, so as soon as he crosses the border his guard will be down. That would be our time to get him!"

"Hn."

"Sakura that's a brilliant plan!"

"I see your logic Sakura, but… it's risky…" Kakashi objected, although he was quickly overwhelmed by the majority vote.

"That's why you have a med-nin with you Sensei. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you all," Sakura chirped happily.

So it was decided. They would continue to follow.

First, however, the team needed to rest – they had been in pursuit without a single break and needed to strengthen up again.

As they all sat around the small fire, rapidly stocking up on food, drink and a couple of hours of sleep, Sasuke couldn't help but notice that Naruto was throwing him shifty looks. Not just a couple, that is. He was almost… staring at him…

Shaking his head in annoyance, Sasuke dismissed that thought from his head.

He had never noticed how deep and blue the blond man's eyes were…

Kicking himself mentally, he simply stated that he would take the second watch shift as the other three slept and quickly lay down to force his mind into darkness.

When Kakashi, who had been the first to keep awake, shook Sasuke's shoulder gently, the man was thankful to wake up. Although he looked like a frightened animal at first, which made Kakashi raise a questioning eyebrow, Sasuke was quick to move to the post Kakashi had chosen for the watchperson where he, also quickly, began glaring at the sleeping form of Naruto.  
"Dobe… How the hell did you invade my sleep… What the hell do you want from me…" he muttered quietly to himself as he watched the three, but particularly the blond head, sleeping.

* * *

Day four of the mission, and they had just crossed into unknown terrain. Even Sasuke and Naruto, who for some reason had been bickering even more than usual along the way, were eerily quiet now. Tension had reached a new apex altogether.

As they ventured deeper into the unknown woods, a thick mist enveloped them. Soon, they could barely see beyond their outstretched arms.

"It's… cold…" Sakura whispered, shivering desperately.

Although all four of them stayed as close together as possible, the mist continued to grow thicker until the only reason they still knew they were together was the fact that they all took great care to maintain body contact.

"This is too dangerous. We can't risk it. We have to abort the mission; now." Kakashi whispered, starting to drag the group backwards to where they came again. "Pakkun… we can't see anything like this… You must…"

But the copy-nin was interrupted by dark, malicious laughter ringing around the mist.

* * *

"Sasuke-teme! Get back up!"

Why is he shouting so loudly?

"No, Sasuke, fuck, please, no… Wake up again!!! Sasuke wake up!!!"

Eugh, stop crying all over my clothes…

"…Shit… Shit! It's all my fault, if only I had… stopped… in time…"

Why is everyone being so bloody sentimental, I'm fine… I'm just tired…

I do feel quite cold though. There's something warm trickling down my face and stomach, and it's quite sticky, but it doesn't feel bad. And there are hands all over me. But I can't really feel them. They're just kind of… there… just moving.

"Don't do this to me Sasuke…"

Naruto… is…crying…? Over me? …What?

"Naruto… calm down… Sakura is taking good care of him…"

Ah, Kakashi, sensible as ever. Thank Kami, maybe I can get some rest now…

"If you can hear me Sasuke, forgive me…"

Was that Sakura? Her voice sounds so… strained… what does she me-

* * *

Naruto couldn't hear it. He had to clamp his hands over his ears. But even so, the scream pierced his ears and sent a dagger straight to his heart.

How, after a few wet dreams and a couple of days on close proximity his confused heart decided to start loving that dark-haired bastard, he didn't understand; the timing, however, seemed to have been perfectly picked to cause him the greatest amount of pain possible.

As Sasuke's body jerked and he screamed a second time, Naruto had to be restrained from jumping up and running far away by a very concerned Jounin.

But just as Naruto feared a new scream would haunt his mind, Sakura sighed in relief and wiped her forehead.

"It's done… he's safe now…" she moaned, her own tiredness catching up with her.

This was day five of the mission.

Kakashi had succeeded to kill the runaway after a long hard fight, during which both Naruto and Sasuke went down.

Naruto's injuries were substantial, but nothing the Kyuubi couldn't handle, so Sakura had, instead, been spending the past 17 hours tending to Sasuke and treating him so that they could at least safely transport him back to Konoha without risking his life.

By the time she had managed to get him to an even semi-stable condition, she had already used up all her anaesthetics and was forced to re-align the ribs puncturing his lungs in the hopes that he was still knocked out enough to not feel it…

Which had, apparently, been a miscalculation.

Now, however, the med-nin, copy-nin and loudmouth-nin could finally breathe again for their friend had escaped death, yet again.

As he slept the sleep of the near-dead, the team slowly made their way back home, pink and silver hair carrying the dark man, relieved blond trailing behind.

* * *

Two days after the mission, Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto had all their own injuries taken care of.

Sasuke, however, had still not woken up.

As had become his practice, Naruto came into the hospital around the afternoon, with his usual basket of fruit which he would, should the pale man have woken up, give to him "from Sakura".

When he entered the room, he was disappointed to see that, once again, his friend was fast asleep.

With a sigh, Naruto put the basket down on the little table in the room before sitting down in the chair next to Sasuke's bed. He didn't usually do this, but for some reason he just felt that he wanted to stay with him for a bit.

"You know teme… I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but I miss hearing your stupid voice…" he mused out loud, staring out of the window.

It wouldn't do any harm, would it? I mean, unconscious people aren't exactly aware of what's going on, are they?

"And I don't understand exactly what happened that day, but ever since I saw you in the hot springs, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I mean, this is sick, but I actually think that I might like you. I mean… oh shit I sound so stupid," Naruto stopped himself, looking at Sasuke's sleeping face. "But I think I might actually love you…"

Naruto stayed silent for a bit, just staring at Sasuke as tears welled up behind his eyes again.

"Say something Sasuke… please wake up for me, say something, even if it's just to call me a dobe again!!!" he begged, praying that Sasuke should open his eyes again.

Again, silence fell over the two as Naruto watched his love sleep, waiting, hoping.

When visiting time was over, he left the basket on the table and walked out.

* * *

_A crying figure was cuddled up against a dark, silhouetted body. There was blood everywhere, but the silhouette was still breathing._

"_Wake up again!!! Sasuke, wake up!!!" the crying figure shouted, shaking the dark body._

"_Say something… please wake up for me, say something…!"_

_Still, the silhouette only breathed. There was no reply._

"_Please, wake up… Don't you realise that I love you!?"_

* * *

Two days later, as Naruto was visiting Sasuke, something was strange. Something was slightly different. Usually Sasuke lay still, unmoving, his sheets perfectly poised on his body as the nurses had lain them on his body.

But today, Sasuke seemed restless. He was sweating and moaning in his sleep, his covers madly entangled with his limbs.

Naruto's first instinct was to freak out and get the nurses, but quickly he realised that Sasuke's moans were intermingled with words, incoherent sentences.

Gulping with worry, Naruto allowed himself to step closer and lay a careful hand on the dark haired man's chest.

"Sasuke…? Can you hear me? Are you awake…?"

Although the pale body slowly relaxed, the man's mind still seemed to be racing.

"Guh… Naruto..." he groaned, the words so quiet Naruto had to strain to catch even only his name.

Why would Sasuke be moaning his name? Was he dreaming of a fight? What was going on?

"Dobe… cry… why… what… usuratonkachi…"

Oh shit… He knew Naruto had been crying over him!!! Naruto was starting to panic. If Sasuke woke up remembering all this, he would never hear the end of it!!!

As Naruto was pacing up and down the room, mentally debating how to evade a premature death, the subject of his nightly fantasies seemed to have been gathering strength. By the time Naruto realised that Sasuke's moans had slowly turned into whispered words, Sasuke was already nearing consciousness.

"Don't ever cry over me… dobe… Like you could get rid of me that easily…"

As these words were said, Naruto came closer to the black haired man. He wanted to say something, so may things, but by now he was afraid the Uchiha would actually remember if he said anything.

With a sigh, he returned to sitting next to Sasuke before taking a look over at the calendar on the wall.

It was July the 22nd.

* * *

With a sigh, he opened his eyes before cringing and closing them again at how bright the light was. Why did it feel as though he hadn't seen light for the past few years? Grumbling a bit, he tried again.

More successfully, I might add.

When he was actually able to look around, he realised he was lying in a hospital bed.

"Hn," he commented before sitting up slowly, checking whether anything was still injured.

To his relief, he seemed to be fine now, so he flung the covers aside and got out of bed to look out of the window.

It was a beautiful day outside, and in the distance he could recognise some of this year's academy students having an outdoor lesson with Iruka-Sensei.

Again, he commented with a curt "hn".

As he leant against the window sill, he allowed his head to drop a bit to rest on his forearms. His body felt so stiff and lifeless… How long had he been asleep for?

His thoughts were interrupted when a very blond and very orange man burst through the door, carrying a basket full of presents and fruit whilst singing a very out of tune "Happy Birthday".

Well, if that didn't answer the Uchiha's question.

"Calm down dobe… I have a headache…" Sasuke grumbled, turning around to lean against the window and glare at his friend.

"Oi, teme! Don't be like that! It's your birthday and you've been asleep for a week! C'mon, I checked the front desk and they said you'd be free to go as soon as you wake up!!! This 23rd of July will **not** go down without a party!!!" he hooted, obviously carrying too much energy for the world to handle in only one body around with him as he nearly dropped his basket about five times. "Anyway, no one actually knows you're awake yet so they all just gave me their presents to bring to your room! Let's go, c'mon, get dressed and let's get everyone for a feast!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose to retain at least a bit of sanity, Sasuke counted to ten in his head as Naruto showered him in a torrent of ideas for this party of his, but enough was enough.

"Usuratonkachi, there is no party."

That definitely killed the mood for the blond.

"…Nani… what do you mean?"

"Look dobe, just do me a favour and don't tell anyone I've woken up yet, I need peace and quiet today. If you insist I guess I can't force you to stay away from me, but as much as possible I'd like to have a calm and quiet…_birthday_…" he said, pronouncing the word as though it was one of the strangest concepts he had ever heard of.

As he got ready for a new torrent of complaints, however, he had the shock of his life as Naruto acted very un-Naruto-like.

"Oh… Well, if that's what you want…" he sighed, looking down to the floor as though he had just been kicked.

"…Eh… Yes, that is what I want…" Sasuke started, somewhat unsure of how to deal with this "new and improved version" of Naruto. "And… Don't try and tell me otherwise!"

"Don't worry, that's cool. I'll just help you take your things over to your place then."

If Sasuke hadn't been absolutely gob smacked by this new version of his friend, he'd probably have given him a few hundred reasons why he didn't need help. But as it was, he just turned back to the window and dropped his usual "hn".

* * *

With a satisfied sigh, Sasuke allowed himself to drop down onto his couch and close his eyes in satisfaction, body loose and warm after having had a hot bath. Although Naruto had insisted on staying with him "so that he didn't go off doing stupid things –haha–" the generally quiet man had felt comfortable enough to run a bath and sink into the warm depths of the water for half an hour before getting changed to wear a loose pair of tracksuit bottoms that rode very low on his slim hips and an Uchiha-blue shirt. It was strange to see Sasuke without any of his protective or ornamental gear on his person, but, so Naruto had to admit to himself, it was reassuring to know that even **the** great Uchiha Sasuke could also be a normal teen sometimes.

And, Naruto noticed with a grin, watching lonely drops of water find their way from the Uchiha's wet hair down his neck to his collarbones was… rather attractive.

In fact, the man who was now clad in dark, tight jeans and a bright yellow shirt had to glue his eyes back to the telly which he had been staring at for the past 45 minutes to stop himself from blushing bright red and jumping the pale man next to him.

"What's on?" he asked after a silence that, for Naruto, stretched for hours.

"Oh, just some action thriller thing… I think it was in the cinema last year…" he answered quickly, glad to have something take his mind off the sexy body next to him.

"Hn," the answer came, leaving the blond to take a wild guess whether the subject of his desires approved or not.

About five minutes later, it became clear that he didn't.

"Turn off this bull…" Sasuke moaned, letting his head drop back and closing his eyes as Naruto complied.

Said boy was, now that the Uchiha's watchful eyes weren't quite so watchful, busy feasting his eyes on the perfect definition of the black haired's body under his shirt when another sigh interrupted his thoughts.

"Fine, since you're here anyway, and it is, if I can believe you, July the 23rd, let's at least have some fun…"

Naruto watched in surprise as the speaker stood up and left the room only to return a few minutes later, large bottle of sake in one hand and a deck of playing cards in another.

"…Nani…"

"Urusai, just come here," Sasuke interrupted as he sat down at the table and began shuffling the cards.

Hesitantly, Naruto followed suit and sat down in front of Sasuke, waiting to be dealt his cards.

"My birthday, my rules. Standard poker. Loser downs the bet of sake and gets a truth or a dare. Got it?" he stated, not even looking at Naruto as he dealt both of them two cards.

"Sasuke, are you sure…"

"Play."

With a sigh, Naruto looked at the cards in front of him. Ace of hearts, King of hearts? He was definitely starting off alright. As he put them down, he carefully watched Sasuke's expression.

Apart from the smug grin he had on his face throughout explaining the rules, there was nothing to be read in his features.

"Fine. What's the starting bet?"

Immediately, Sasuke grabbed the glass he had brought with the sake and poured them a shot worth of sake.

"Raise and hit me then," he started, liking the look on Sasuke's face too much to resist for long.

Again, Sasuke poured some more sake into the glass as he dealt the next two cards.

Queen of hearts! Naruto had to control his glee – he was clearly on a roll already!

Sasuke also seemed satisfied with his hand, for he put his third card back down on the table looking rather smug.

"Raise."

His voice rang clearly in Naruto's ears as more sake got poured into the glass.

"Call," he answered, receiving his next card.

And a Jack of hearts! This was just going too well.

"Raise, and I mean it this time!"

With a coy grin, Sasuke filled the glass.

"C'mon, last card, hit me!" Naruto grinned, watching the last card being laid on the table before him.

As he looked at the final card, Naruto's hopes crashed. A ten… of clubs. That meant he was stuck with a Straight.

But Sasuke still had that coy grin on his face…

With a sigh, Naruto turned over his cards. They weren't playing for money after all, so who cared if he mucked up one round?

"A Straight, huh?" Sasuke chuckled, turning over his cards to reveal a Full House.. "Sorry Naru-chan, but for such a poor effort you can down the glass straight away…"

With a growl, Naruto grabbed the glass and downed it without hesitation.

"What do you want from me then?" he snapped, waiting for his "punishment".

"Hm…" Sasuke thought, watching the blond with an absent, contemplating look on his face. "Fine, let's start off somewhat tame… What is the strangest dream you ever had?"

Already, Naruto was blushing and stammering, making Sasuke sit forwards in his seat and stare at his friend intently.

"C'mon, spill."

"Ah… Well… eh… Can't I have a dare instead…?" he tried, but the chuckled reply told him no.

"Well… ah… It was… this dream… where…" he started, only to be interrupted by an impatient Uchiha.

"Ok fine, basically I was watching this incredibly fit… woman… you know, huge tits, that kind of thing…?" he tried, waiting for Sasuke to roll his eyes before continuing, "And she was like completely naked and having a really sexy bath in a hot spring, and there were loads of other men trying to reach for her, but she just gave them all this cheeky grin and they couldn't reach her, but then she stared straight at me, walked up to me, pushed her wet body flush up against mine and then I realised we were both naked and then she kissed me and then I woke up!"

As he spoke, Naruto's words came faster and faster until finally he was rattling down the words rather than telling a short story. When he was done, he looked down at the table, not daring to look at his true fantasy's eyes, dreading that he might guess the truth.

"I don't believe you…" Sasuke started, eying the tan boy carefully, "But I guess that was good enough."

As he collected the cards and shuffled the deck again, onyx eyes continued to watch the tanned face.

"Next round."

And so they played poker, late into the night, Naruto losing most of the rounds but winning the occasional game.

When finally they were both so drunk that any set of cards turned into a Royal Flush, they decided it would be best to stop playing before they started accusing each other of cheating – because they **obviously** hadn't been cheating up until this point – and sat down on the sofa again, trusty bottle of sake now refilled and waiting for the next sip to be taken.

After a short, comfortable silence, Sasuke began to chuckle before calming again with his classic "hn".

"So, Naru-chan…" he mumbled, words slightly slurred from the alcohol, "Why were you crying over me when I was injured? You really think you'd be rid of me that easily…?"

As though on command, Naruto sobered up.

"…I never cried over you, teme!"

"Yeah you did!" the pale man chuckled, throwing an arm around a blushing Naruto. "I heard you, screaming for me to wake up before Sakura got rough with me…"

"I…I… I was still under the influence of a Genjutsu!!!" Naruto whined, sweat drops forming quickly on his neck.

What if Sasuke found out now? What if he got angry and refused to ever talk to Naruto again?

"Ahaha… I don't believe you Naru-chan…" Sasuke cooed, leaning in close to Naruto. "I think you're hiding something from me…"

"N…no… Sasuke… I'm not…" the blond tried, carefully attempting to push Sasuke away from him.

The last thing he needed now was for the dark ANBU to get too close to him and get him hard.

"You see, Naru, I had this dream while I was out cold…" he continued, unfazed by Naruto's attempts to create more distance between them. "And in this dream, you said something I found rather intriguing…"

With a gulp, the tanned boy found himself getting lost in the glazed onyx eyes staring straight into his pools of blue. His self control shattered to pieces as Sasuke came closer still, their noses almost touching, and started tracing Naruto's jaw line.

"I…" Naruto started, forcing himself not to react, but feeling himself growing very hard very quickly.

"You what, Naruto? I don't think you only said it in my dream…" Sasuke continued, following a finger tracing down Naruto's cheek with his mouth hovering about the tan skin until he latched onto the Jinchuuriki's neck.

The reaction was immediate. A stifled moan was followed by Sasuke being flipped under Naruto and pinned down on the sofa where the two men were quickly engrossed in a vicious kiss.

As Sasuke started laughing into the kiss, Naruto pulled away, growling at the body pinned underneath him.

"Strange to think that I nearly killed Kakashi for even implying I should think of you as hot… and now… I actually find myself liking this…" he mused before flipping the two over again so that he was now on top of Naruto.

As the now bottoming ninja tried to say something, Sasuke silenced him by kissing him again, coaxing him into opening his mouth by allowing his tongue to run over his lower lip before tasting all of him. It wasn't long before both Naruto and Sasuke were grinding against each other, creating friction on their still clad cocks and moaning into each other's kisses.

"Sa…Sasuke!" Naruto moaned as his best friend reached down to unzip his trousers.

"Oh, do you want to go first, Naru-chan?" the dark man teased, kneeling upright and pushing his trackies down to reveal his throbbing member.

If it wasn't obvious before this that Naruto couldn't keep his eyes of the Uchiha, then it definitely was now.

As the blond scrambled up to return to kissing Sasuke, his hands found their way to the large cock that was begging to be touched, making Sasuke thrust into his lover's hands whilst grabbing his head and pulling him into a forceful kiss. But the kiss only lasted a second as Sasuke grinned and pulled the blond man's head down towards his manhood.

"Suck," he ordered, moaning loudly when Naruto wasted not even a second to comply, deep throating his cock as though he hadn't eaten in weeks. "Kami… Naruto…"

Hearing his lover's moans, Naruto just tried harder, leaving no part of Sasuke's cock untouched, using his hands to fondle any part of his cock that wasn't currently enveloped by the warmth of his mouth and gently massaging his balls.

Drunk as he was, it didn't take long for Sasuke to feel himself nearing the edge, portrayed by the fact that he grabbed the blond hair and started pumping into Naruto's mouth as his moans became louder.

When Naruto felt the pale man's cock beginning to contract, he grabbed onto his hips and pulled him as deep into his mouth as he could to make sure that not one drop of the precious liquid should be spilt.

In the aftermath of climax, Sasuke massaged Naruto's shoulders before pulling him up into a new, gentler kiss.

"Mmh… You've had practice haven't you… bitch…" Sasuke groaned into the kiss before turning his attention to Naruto's own painfully hard length, rubbing and stroking it after finally undoing his jeans. "My turn…"

From the table, Sasuke grabbed one of the many lotions Sakura had given him for his birthday and spread a healthy amount over his hand before rubbing his fingers across Naruto's tight entrance.

"Don't tense and you'll enjoy this…" he murmured into Naruto's neck before kissing and gently biting the tender skin whilst allowing two fingers to enter the tan man.

With a gasp, Naruto clenched his muscles around Sasuke's fingers, making him groan at the sheer thought of burrowing his cock in that tight hole.

"So nice and tight Naru-chan…" he chuckled before kissing down Naruto's chest and adding another finger to the two already in his ass.

If Naruto had been trying to say anything throughout Sasuke's menstruations, they definitely didn't come out, lost as he was in the pool of pleasure the dark man plunged him into.

He couldn't think, he couldn't speak.

All that was real was the pleasure he felt.

When Sasuke reached his large cock, Naruto moaned and clenched harder around his fingers, making him begin to scissor his entrance and engulf the dripping member in his hot, wet mouth.

"Ah… Sasuke… More…" he groaned, holding onto the pale shoulders in front of him for dear life. "Fuck don't stop!"

At just that moment, of course, the sadistic ANBU **did** decide to stop, removing all contact from Naruto and moving to coat his once again hard member in the lotion instead.

He only chuckled at the moaned protests he received and completely ignored Naruto latching onto him, kissing every part of his body he could reach. In fact, the Uchiha had to admit to himself, he actually quite enjoyed the blond begging for him, swooning over him like a girl.

When he was content that his cock was well-lubricated, Sasuke pushed his toy down onto the ground forcefully before settling between his legs and stroking his inner thighs.

"If you've liked it so far you're gonna love this…" he whispered in his lover's ear, gently biting down on his earlobe as he lifted his legs above his shoulders.

As Naruto bucked up into his tantalizer's body, Sasuke began rubbing his hard member up and down the blonde's bum crack, slowly driving the boy underneath him crazy.

When, finally, the victim cracked, Sasuke's grin covered his entire face.

"Please Sasuke stop teasing just **fuck me**!!!" Naruto groaned, making his new-found master chuckle gleefully.

"Mmmh… I like it when you talk dirty…" he mumbled into his ear as he entered the tan ass in one swift motion.

The first moment, all Naruto could feel was pain. Indescribable pain. Slowly he regained his vision and realised that Sasuke was suddenly very very still above him, not moving an inch, barely daring to breathe. But his cock was so huge, so deep inside him… And he could feel it throbbing.

And he wanted it badly.

Even before his body was truly ready for the attack, Naruto became desperate enough to move of his own accord, signalling to the dark man that he was ready. With a groan, Sasuke began rocking against him, gently at first, but gradually faster and harder until he was pumping in and out of the Kyuubi-vessel without any signs of mercy.

And he be damned if Naruto didn't love it.

"Aaah… Sasuke, Kami… So good!... So big!!! Harder…!"

"God Naruto… So fucking tight…"

On and on Sasuke plunged, his cock burying deeper and deeper inside his uke's ass, balls slapping on Naruto's ass as they spilt their entire life into each other. When Sasuke felt himself getting close, he grabbed Naruto's cock, pumping hard and in rhythm to their fucking.

"Oh God Sasu I'm coming!!!" Naruto shouted, his white liquid spurting up his chest as he bucked up into his lover.

Aroused by this sight, Sasuke felt himself coming very quickly after, groaning Naruto's name as he filled his tight ass with his sperm.

Spent, they both collapsed on top of each other, skin on skin, Sasuke still gently rocking inside the other man's ass. As his rocking got slower and he finally allowed himself to come to rest on top of his friend, Naruto pushed some lost strands of hair which had stuck to his forehead with sweat out of the way, tucking them safely behind his ear.

"You know dobe… For someone as stupid as you, that sure was a good fuck," Sasuke grumbled, resting comfortably on said dobe's chest.

"Tch," came the reply.

Naruto was not in the mood to argue with Sasuke. Not now. Not ever again. Heck, if he had any say in the matter they'd never leave the bedroom again after this.

Sighing, blondy raised his head to kiss his new sex God on the forehead.

"You know Sasuke-teme… For an asshole like you, I sure love you a lot…"

But said ninja just smirked and nodded.

Happy, Naruto allowed his head to rest on the floor again, stroking a tired hand through said teme's hair.

Even if Sasuke would never say it…

Naruto knew that they both felt the same.

* * *

"…Where did these kids ever learn all this? Do you think Iru-chan would like it if I did that to him…?"

"What the… Shut up you disgusting freak!!! This is horrid!!! If I had known how rank this is I wouldn't ever have set Naruto up for this!!!"  
"Wait so you're telling me there's something sexual you **don't** enjoy? And people say I've lost my mind. Anyway, if you're such a homophobe, then why did you try this in the first place?"  
"…But… But… My books…"

"Well then get over yourself and start writing," the figure answered, casually stepping away from the window the two had been peeking through and cracking his back. "I'm expecting to find a new book in the adult section within a month."

"Damn you Kakashi…" Jiraiya mumbled under his breath as he returned his gaze to what was happening inside the house. "Okay, maybe the Uchiha is hot after all… **Wait** **what am I saying!?!?**"

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**OWARI**

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**Aw, and it's over again :_; I upset myself sometimes…**

**And, of course, everyone loves Sasu-chan ****J**

**Anywho, don't forget that beautiful, sparkly review button…**

**Lots of love,**

**~Kit**

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	2. Edit Note

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**Quick note of apology - I believe that at some point in this story I wrote something about Sasuke's "menstruations"... That is MEANT to say "ministrations", I promise!!! *nervous chuckle* Oh whatever... I guess now the whole world knows I was on my period when I wrote this... *blushes* Anyway, hope you enjoyed that despite the error x.x **

**Lot's of love,  
~Kit**

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